Do you know your “inner critic“? You know, that persistent, judgemental voice in your mind that questions your choices, criticises your actions, and makes you doubt yourself.
This inner critic, sometimes called a “gremlin,” an “inner saboteur”, the “judge”, the “fault finder”, the “perfectionist, the “inner voice of doubt” (you can see it comes in many different forms) is a part of us, yet it often feels as though it’s working against us.
It points out our supposed flaws, reminds us of past mistakes, and sometimes even predicts failure before we’ve had a chance to start.
It’s no wonder so many of us end up feeling stifled by this voice, unable to step forward with confidence.
You might wonder why we have such a voice in the first place. The truth is, this inner critic developed as a form of protection, a strategy to keep us safe from harm, disappointment, and rejection. In childhood, for example, staying out of trouble, meeting others’ expectations, and avoiding criticism were often key to gaining approval and security. Over time, these early patterns of thinking become ingrained, forming this “critical” part of ourselves. It reminds us to be careful, to do better, to avoid failure – all with the ultimate goal of keeping us safe.
However, while this inner critic was once protective. In fact, it can hold us back, stifle our creativity, and keep us from living authentically. Think of it as an outdated coping mechanism that needs updating. In our adult lives, we have new resources, new skills, and a broader perspective. We don’t necessarily need to be shielded from every perceived failure or flaw in the way we did as children. But our inner critic hasn’t caught up with that yet.
That’s why learning to identify, understand, and even interact with this voice can be so empowering. We can begin to separate it from our true selves, recognising it as just one voice among many within us, rather than the ultimate authority on who we are or what we’re capable of.
In the following sections, I’ll guide you through an exercise designed to help you get to know your inner critic more personally. You’ll have a chance to visualise this critical voice, explore its intentions and fears, and start to redefine your relationship with it.
This is not about silencing or ‘defeating’ the inner critic; it’s about understanding it. When we acknowledge this part of ourselves with kindness, we create the opportunity to shift its influence, softening its hold over us.
What is the Inner Critic?
This voice represents a part of us that feels it must be ever-vigilant, watching over our actions, decisions, and choices. It’s quick to remind us of our perceived shortcomings, ready to criticise before we’ve even had a chance to try.
Often, it speaks in “shoulds” and “musts,” pointing out everything we could have done better or why something might go wrong.
But why does this inner voice exist, and what purpose does it serve? The truth is that our inner critic was developed as a way to protect us. In our formative years, staying out of trouble, meeting expectations, and doing things “right” was often a matter of survival – even if only on a social or emotional level. We may have internalised voices of authority figures, cultural expectations, or social norms, blending them together into a familiar voice that we hear in adulthood. This voice believes it’s helping by keeping us on high alert, keeping us “safe” from potential judgement or failure.
However, this voice is often outdated. While it may have been a coping mechanism in childhood, as adults, we’re capable of handling far more than our inner critic gives us credit for. Now, it can feel more like an obstacle than a help, a roadblock that keeps us from embracing opportunities and from seeing ourselves as capable and resilient.
My approach isn’t to try to silence or destroy this part of ourselves – rather, it’s to understand it. When we can see the inner critic not as a harsh enemy, but as a part of ourselves with its own story and purpose, we open up the possibility of change. We can learn to recognise when this voice is at play and make space for other voices within us – the voice of confidence, self-compassion, and growth.
In the next part of this exercise, we’ll use a simple activity to help you visualise your inner critic. This can be an eye-opening way to make this voice feel less abstract and more tangible. Through this process, you may begin to understand your critic’s intentions, its fears, and perhaps even its limitations. This is the first step in building a healthier, more balanced relationship with yourself.
